Mathematics & Money Jokes
A fun collection of jokes about gross pay, imaginary girlfriends, math woes, and punny concert prices—perfect for fans of humor that combines everyday life with a touch of nerdiness.
What’s that joke about gross pay?
It’s called gross pay because it’s disgusting to see how much money you would have made before taxes.
Explanation: Gross pay is an individual’s total earnings throughout a given period before any deductions are made.
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Key Terms
What’s that joke about gross pay?
It’s called gross pay because it’s disgusting to see how much money you would have made before taxes.
What’s that nerdy joke about an imaginary girlfriend?
My girlfriend is like the square root of -100.
A solid 10, but also imaginary.
What’s that joke about math problems?
Q: Why did the math book look so sad?
A: Because of all its problems.
What’s that joke about going to a cheap concert?
Q: What concert only costs 45 cents?
A: 50 Cent featuring Nickleback.
What’s that joke about relationships and algebra?
Relationships are a lot like algebra.
Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
What’s that joke about Sherlock Holmes?
Why didn’t Sherlock Holmes pay a lot of taxes?
Because he made brilliant deductions.
What’s that joke about a pessimistic accountant?
Q: What does the pessimistic accountant think?
A: It’s accrual world.
What’s that joke about ear piercings?
Q: How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
A: A buccaneer.
What’s that joke about failing math class?
I failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count.
What’s that joke about counting?
There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can’t.
What’s that joke about an accountant’s balance?
When do accountants fall over?
When they lose their balance.
What’s that joke about a accountants?
Q: Why are accountants always tired after work?
A: Because their job is so taxing
What’s that joke about multiplication tables?
Q: Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A: Times Square.
What’s that joke about a Roth IRA?
OR that joke about soup?
My workplace offered to fund my retirement account exclusively in soup…
…I’m the first ...
What’s that joke about about the IRS and a seafood restaurant?
Q: Why was the seafood restaurant being investigated by the IRS?
A: They were suspected...
What’s that joke about milking someone dry?
Q: Why doesn’t the IRS audit cows?
A: Because the farmer milked them dry already.
What’s that joke about odd and even numbers?
Q: How do you make 7 (seven) even?
A: Take away the “s.”
What’s that joke about pi?
Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
A: Pi.
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What’s that joke about math puns?
Not all math puns are terrible.
Just sum.
What’s that joke about calculus and driving?
Q: Why can’t you do your calculus homework on a Friday night?
A: Because you can’t drin...
What’s that joke about average temperatures?
Did you hear about the statistician who had his head in an oven and his feet in a bucket of ice?
What’s that joke about haggling?
If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price.
What’s that joke about sending animals into space?
Q: Why didn’t NASA send a duck into space?
A: The bill would be astronomical.
What’s that joke about paper currency?
OR that joke about Washington and ducks?
Q: What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington?
A: One has a bill on his...
What's that joke about self-deprecating humor?
It’s the joke where someone says, “I’m so bad at jokes, even my self-deprecating humor is terrible.”
Related Flashcard Decks
| Term | Definition |
|---|---|
What’s that joke about gross pay? | It’s called gross pay because it’s disgusting to see how much money you would have made before taxes. Explanation: Gross pay is an individual’s total earnings throughout a given period before any deductions are made. |
What’s that nerdy joke about an imaginary girlfriend? | My girlfriend is like the square root of -100. A solid 10, but also imaginary. |
What’s that joke about math problems? | Q: Why did the math book look so sad? A: Because of all its problems. |
What’s that joke about going to a cheap concert? | Q: What concert only costs 45 cents? A: 50 Cent featuring Nickleback. |
What’s that joke about relationships and algebra? | Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y? |
What’s that joke about Sherlock Holmes? | Why didn’t Sherlock Holmes pay a lot of taxes? Because he made brilliant deductions. |
What’s that joke about a pessimistic accountant? | Q: What does the pessimistic accountant think? A: It’s accrual world. Tip: Pay close attention to the pronunciation of the word “accrual,” as there is a double meaning here. In accounting, an “accrual” of something is the adding together of interest or different investments over a period of time. When pronounced differently, it can sound like “a cruel.” |
What’s that joke about ear piercings? | Q: How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A: A buccaneer. |
What’s that joke about failing math class? | I failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count. |
What’s that joke about counting? | There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can’t. |
What’s that joke about an accountant’s balance? | When do accountants fall over? When they lose their balance. Explanation: A tax balance is the difference between an amount due and an amount paid. |
What’s that joke about a accountants? | Q: Why are accountants always tired after work? A: Because their job is so taxing. |
What’s that joke about multiplication tables? | Q: Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables? A: Times Square. |
What’s that joke about a Roth IRA? OR that joke about soup? | My workplace offered to fund my retirement account exclusively in soup… …I’m the first person to have a Broth IRA. Fun fact: A Roth IRA is an individual retirement account that offers tax-free growth and tax-free withdrawals in retirement. |
What’s that joke about about the IRS and a seafood restaurant? | Q: Why was the seafood restaurant being investigated by the IRS? A: They were suspected of being a shell company in some fishy business. Explanation: A “shell company” is often a fake business that is a front for corrupt activity or tax evasion. |
What’s that joke about milking someone dry? | Q: Why doesn’t the IRS audit cows? A: Because the farmer milked them dry already. Explanation: To “milk dry” means to take all or as much as possible of something from a person, thing, or situation. |
What’s that joke about odd and even numbers? | Q: How do you make 7 (seven) even? A: Take away the “s.” |
What’s that joke about pi? | Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert? A: Pi. Explanation: Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter, and has a numerical value of 3.14. |
What’s that joke about math puns? | Not all math puns are terrible. Just sum. |
What’s that joke about calculus and driving? | Q: Why can’t you do your calculus homework on a Friday night? A: Because you can’t drink and derive. |
What’s that joke about average temperatures? | Did you hear about the statistician who had his head in an oven and his feet in a bucket of ice? When asked how he felt, he replied, “On the average I feel just fine.” Explanation: Statisticians are often teased for making sweeping generalizations while ignoring specific individual or emotional conditions. |
What’s that joke about haggling? | If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price. |
What’s that joke about sending animals into space? | Q: Why didn’t NASA send a duck into space? A: The bill would be astronomical. |
What’s that joke about paper currency? OR that joke about Washington and ducks? | Q: What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington? A: One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill. |
What's that joke about self-deprecating humor? | It’s the joke where someone says, “I’m so bad at jokes, even my self-deprecating humor is terrible.” |